SUBJECT: PRODUCER'S VIDEO
BLOGS
The comment is:
Why are the Lossano/Perin the producer video blogs so popular.
Well one reason is through the process of elimination you can take Tony
Lossano out of the equation of the producer video blogs being popular.
The reason anything is popular is never Tony
if Tony is that video. Tony's secret is much like Robert Horry, NBA
player for the newly crowned San Antonio Spurs he just surrounds himself
with fantastic players. Robert Horry, never a starter-always a
substitute, has 7 NBA titles because he played on teams with Kobe Bryant,
Shaquelle O'Neal, Tim Duncan, David Robinson and Tony Parker.
Tony Lossano, never funny, has some very
popular video blogs including the producer video blogs because he
surrounds himself with gorgeous, talented, funny woman co-hosts and
producers consistently such as: Bridget Houlihan, Amy Zanglin, Damaris
Woodbury and the lovely and talented Mariana Perin.
A bowling pin replacing Tony in these videos
with the lovely, talented, funny woman would not alter the popularity of
the video segment hits.
In fact a bowling pin would be a welcome
substitute to Tony's over voice affection and Laffy Taffy wrapper jokes.
The bowling pin would probably eventually permanently replace Lossano
because the viewership would be higher.
Experiment by actually replacing Lossano with
a bowling pin and perhaps dubbing in a non-Tony bowling pin voice and
find out! It would be cool!
So, why are the video director blogs so
popular?
One word, well actually two: Mariana Perin.
SUBJECT: EPISODE
#205
The comment is:
Ashley did the best job on the makeover. However, no makeover is
complete without a good pair of shoes! Someone needs to hook up Tony with
my boy, Steve Madden! Tony needs a good pair of shoes to complete the
look.
SUBJECT: THE TRUTH ABOUT LAURA
The comment is:
OMG!!!! This was better than The O.C., Lost, Degrassi High - The Next
Generation, and Gilmore Girls combined!!! And keeping Tony completely out
of the segment is probably the most brilliant writing this show has ever
seen!! I'm going to re-watch right now to look for possible spoilers and
clues. 5 stars!!
SUBJECT: TONY & BEN TALKS
STEVE ALLEN
The comment is:
While this was an engaging and entertaining interview, I felt myself mildly disturbed by Tony's wardrobe. While his shirts normally get the brunt of jokes, the combination of "black shorts, black socks, pasty legs" exposed me to more Tony Lossano than I ever wanted to see. I find it ironic that this family show goes out of its way to scare children and the elderly with these horrific images. Some sensible long cargo shorts would be a less distracting alternative.
SUBJECT:
GABBY @
THE CHILDREN'S MUSEUM
The comment is:
Awesome reporting by Gabby! I learned more from this segment
than I did from 6 years of high school!
SUBJECT: THAT 80's SHOW
The comment is:
Ashley Lobo’s increased role on the show is a welcome one and with
it, Tony’s formula for success becomes obvious. Take women as beautiful
as angels who are pure at heart like Amy, Ashley, Laura, and Denise (and
I’ll include Raminder because he make me doubt my sexuality sometimes
when I watch his clips after having a few) and put them on television to
entertain the masses. I apologize for calling your show a local
embarrassment. As a member of the video club (which is probably more
accurately called a “loose association” rather than a club), I have to
say that your show is precious to my heart and Tony, I hope you do not
hate me for the jokes I have made at your expense. I only meant
approximately 75% of them.
SUBJECT: WORLD NEWS CENTER #197
The comment is:
There’s nothing I love more than a good sexual innuendo and this
week’s World News brought the funny with the timeless joke of using the
term “hard-drive” to refer to an erection. With all due respect though, I
was disappointed that the joke was not taken to its logical conclusion by
including something about the man now having more RAM (with the joke
being hammered home with some wild hip thrusts and some winking at the
camera). I know that these are the kinds of difficult personal decisions
you must make as an artist. I know you are the professionals and I don’t
mean to step on your toes. I was also disappointed that it was an 80's
show and I didn't find out who everyone's favorite New Kid On The Block
is. Mine is Jordan Knight. Thanks for your consideration.
SUBJECT:
GADGET GUY -
FINAL REMINDER
The comment is:
The last regular Reminder’s Reminder? I don’t mean to sound overly
sentimental, but I felt obligated to pour a 40 oz out in memory of these
segments. Sure, they were written with all of the lucidity of someone on
a 24 hour crack binge, but I’ll miss them still. I’m sure such feelings
are lost on Tony and Amy who are too busy riding around town in their new
Lexus cars and wearing 30 pounds of bling after “selling out” to NBC. We
didn’t even get treated to a Reminder's Reminder montage set to sappy
music, like Air Supply? For shame. For shame.
SUBJECT: 2006 WORLD
CUP
The comment is:
Don't wear headphones while watching this. I did and felt the sheer pain of having Tony scream directly into my ears at a volume equivalent to an AK47 being fired off next to my head. Listening to it without headphones wasn't much better as my dog got scared by his yelling and hid behind the couch. As the Rambo of screaming, Tony just loads up his full metal jacket and indiscriminately yells with no concern over the carnage he causes. There's no such thing as shame in Tony's world.
SUBJECT:
GADGET GUY - HANNAH #193
The comment is:
As a man, I prefer TV shows featuring guys punching each other in the
face or groin, exploding sports cars, and women in skimpy clothing. With
none of these things present, I approached Hannah’s segments with
caution. How could this possibly be good tv if she's not leaping from a
helicopter onto a moving motorcycle to fight heavily armed terrorists?
Well, despite my best efforts, I was won over by her infectious
enthusiasm and sweet demeanor. She doesn’t chew up the scenery like a
Tony Lossano, but "feel good" segments are a warm and fuzzy way to end
the show. If you’re a man and not used to such “feelings” such as warm
and fuzzy, this can be easily remedied by putting on a wife-beater,
eating a pound of beef jerky, and watching kickboxing on ESPN2.
SUBJECT: WORLD NEWS CENTER #192
The comment is:
Just when you think Tony has run out of ways to haunt you in your nightmares, he defies all odds. Here we get a look into Tony’s deranged psyche when states that Ariel the Mermaid is hot. This is sure to have viewers waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, crying. Even an outdated tuna/lesbian joke fails to relieve the clip of the creepiness of the proceeding moments. We can only pray that future jokes featuring tasteless euphemisms for vag will help us learn to laugh again.
SUBJECT:
WORLD NEWS CENTER #190
The comment is:
Gay porn? Bastard? Take the kids out of the room, Mom, because it's
the Nude Hippo Def Comedy Jam! Seriously, probably the best news segment
you've done as I actually laughed out loud and didn't have any random
thoughts like, "Hey, maybe I should stop watching this and get around to
fixing that broken closet door." Laura, keep pushing that envelope even
it means getting dirty like my girl, Christina Aguilera. (By that, I mean
telling risqué jokes, not dancing around in a ho outfit)
SUBJECT: FRED ASTAIRE DANCE
The comment is:
The first 30 seconds of this prove that Amy has sexier dance moves than
my girl, Gwen Stefani! I think even J-Lo is shaking a little in her boots
now! Less of Tony would have made this perfect, but I'll overlook it.
SUBJECT: GADGET GUY'S MAKE-OVER
The comment is:
Only Nude Hippo is brave enough to take a vague and ambiguous concept and
then turn it into a confusing TV segment. Amy perceptively sums up this
clip when she says: "Is this supposed to be happening?" and "I don't get
it." While a black television screen does not make for gripping TV, in
the case of Nude Hippo this technology limitation can possibly be seen as
a plus. The viewer can actually use their imagination and pretend that
something entertaining is happening during this.
SUBJECT:
ANNA DAVLANTES DOES THE NEWS
The comment is:
The pre-news bowling segment comes across as another thinly veiled excuse for Tony to leave the studio to hang out with a hot woman. Thankfully, it’s not as disturbing as watching Tony sitting in a dark bar, ogling Loop girl contestants. Tony manages to behave himself and I don’t feel the immediate need to take a shower afterwards, which is a minor victory in itself.
SUBJECT: ANNA DAVLANTES DOES THE NEWS
The comment is:
I didn't enjoy Anna’s fill-in for job Laura, though it’s not
specifically her fault. Anna is as charming and pleasant as anyone else
on the show. However, no one ever said comedy was easy and this was about
as funny as a wiffle ball bat the groin or a Carrot Top movie. Laura is
really missed here -namely her natural chemistry with the rest of the
cast and her comedic talent. It's one of those things where you don't
realize just how good someone is until they aren't there.
SUBJECT: WORLD NEWS CENTER #187
The comment is:
The Tony visit to the Springer set certainly comes off as realistic since he runs out of breath after running ten feet. However, back in the studio, the payoff joke falls flat once can only wonder “what was the point of that?” The news segment should rely on Laura’s comedic talents and playful sarcasm instead of pointless 8 second appearances of grade D “celebrities.” Her hairstyle (new?) is also looking great here – very “Sex and the
City”-ish!
SUBJECT: YOU TUBE w/ THE GADGET GUY!
The comment is:
Through the internet, the Nude Hippo show is no longer confined to being a local
embarrassment that Chicago's tax-payers flip through quickly while trying to get to a real channel. The nerdy guy with glasses cackles like an
over hyped wacky morning radio dj. I think he is supposed to appeal to the "I'm 30 and I still live at home with my parents" demographic.
The only bright spot in this train wreck is that gorgeous honey, Amy. Just give her her own show and have her talk about nonsense.
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